Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Seeking Sanctuary At World's End

When I started this blog, I was struggling with feeding my family a gluten free diet on a tight budget.  Over the past few years, my life and diet have changed but I am still striving to feed my family on a tight budget.  My focus had changed but I was still me so I kept up with this blog and tried to make it work.  I appreciate each every reader but I just haven't been able to make this blog the success I imagined.
Recently, I started working with a friend to build this blog and my etsy business.  She pointed out that this blog no longer fit it's title.  As we got to working together I realized the reason this blog is not as successful as I would like is because I'm only sharing part of my life.  I write several blogs on several topics because I had learned that blogs should be topic specific. 
That had become my life - everything was topic specific.  I was so compartmentalized and divided that I couldn't be successful because I was no longer whole.  My friend is building me a new website but it was my job to give it a name.  I hate naming things.  I write fiction (did you know that?) and most of my stories are saved under the character's names because I just hate coming up with titles.
This was hard.  I had discussion after discussion with friends and family.  I put it on facebook.  I needed feedback because I just couldn't make this decision on my own.
There were so many reason's this title was hard - I wanted something that I could keep forever.  Something that would encompass the many parts of me and could become the name I call my dream farm when I finally buy it.  I went through a lot of names - some serious contenders, some just silly but needed to be shared.
I was left, in the end, with two - Dark River Oasis and Seeking Sanctuary At World's End.  Last week I was leaning towards Dark River Oasis.  It was well liked amongst my friends but then I realized it had to be personal - it had to speak all the parts of me.  The second name did that.
I am a wife, a mother, an artist, a writer, a soap maker, a forager and so many other hats.  I love victorian gardens, haunted houses, animals, horror stories, and spring flowers.  Do you know how hard is to have all these little parts and not share them when I share myself?  I felt censured.  I felt like I was missing something.
I read a fair amount of blogs that share my interests.  One blog last week talked about having the freedom to be who we wanted to be.  The list the author shared had to do with those who homestead - I was right there with her until the last line which had to do with homeschooling.  Hmm - I want to homestead but I have no interest in homeschooling my son.  In fact, the only reason my son would be interested is because he doesn't like getting up in the morning.  He loves school otherwise so why would I take that away from him.
It made me start thinking about how I am different from others who blog about homesteading topics.  I'm a country girl at heart but I live in town in an apartment.  If I could, I'd live like the Addams family.  I love the idea of a big spooky house filled with gothic decorations.  I would wear long flowing dresses and all sorts of hippy like clothing.  I don't think I'm a hippy but it's what I like to wear.  I'd love to drive a horse and buggy but there is no way I am giving up my computer.  I'm not a Christian but I like to read the bible.  I feel so outside of the box but I realized I might not be the only one.
This post is getting a little long and I like to keep these short (since I have a short attention span) but I wanted to give some reasons why Seeking Sanctuary At World's End fits.
World's End has a lot of meaning for me - first it makes me think of Pirates of the Caribbean.  I can't help it but I love that movie.  I love Johnny Depp but more so I love that world they live in.  I love the dark fantasy and the humor. 
I figure World's End would be a great name for a farm but the reason I thought of that name is because of two things - I write horror/fantasy and Zombie Apocalypse was just not fitting into any of my titles.  The other is because I am terrified that the world is going to end.  I don't know how and I don't think it's going to be a big apocalypse but I feel that things are going downhill and I want to stay above water.  It's the biggest motivator behind learning to forage. I want to be able to provide for my family regardless of what happens.  I want chickens so I know we'll have meat and eggs.  I want to learn to hunt and clean animals because I don't want us to starve.  I get a little weird because I see the economy getting tougher and I'm scared.  If I can provide food and shelter then the rest will be okay.
Adding to that - I want peace.  I want sanctuary.  I want to provide sanctuary.  I want to share my knowledge to help other's survive these scary times.  Someday I want my farm to be a place where people can come to relax, to have a spa experience in the middle of a farm.  I want fairy rings and castle walls to welcome people into a fantasy world where bathtubs over look flowers and water.  Where organic is comforting and not weird (or yucky).  I want others to know the world I want to live in and that is what my new site is all about.  It's coming soon and I hope you will join me.

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